Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2023-01-01 08:51:39
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Melody Beattie
- ISBN：195411821X
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Summary
The #1 bestseller that has helped heal millions of readers， this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life。
Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another— has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins。
Is someone else's problem your problem？ If， like so many others， you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior， you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book。 With instructive life stories， personal reflections， exercises， and self-tests， Codependent No More helps you to break old patterns， maintain healthy boundaries， and say no to unhealthy relationships。 It offers a clear and achievable path to freedom and a lifetime of healing， hope， and happiness。
This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today， as readers confront new， urgent challenges with greater self-awareness， than it was when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago。
Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another— has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins。
Is someone else's problem your problem？ If， like so many others， you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior， you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book。 With instructive life stories， personal reflections， exercises， and self-tests， Codependent No More helps you to break old patterns， maintain healthy boundaries， and say no to unhealthy relationships。 It offers a clear and achievable path to freedom and a lifetime of healing， hope， and happiness。
This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today， as readers confront new， urgent challenges with greater self-awareness， than it was when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago。
Reviews
McKenley
，
As someone in the helping profession， I found this book enlightening - both for clients， and for myself。 My supervisor prefaced this book by telling me she frames a lot of co-dependency through the lens of substance abuse but the theories can be applied to many things （religion， gender norms， social media addiction， etc）。 I went in with that in my head and found the book valuable in a plethora of contexts。
Kerrigan
，
I found this book helpful in defining codependency， identifying the origin of my codependency， and identifying what habits of mine come from codependency and how they are affecting my life and my partner’s。I do wish that there were more mild examples given in this book rather than cases stemming from being a partner of alcoholism， drug addiction， etc。 because （not to trauma dump） while that may be a root cause of my codependency， that is not representative of my relationship today and she does n I found this book helpful in defining codependency， identifying the origin of my codependency， and identifying what habits of mine come from codependency and how they are affecting my life and my partner’s。I do wish that there were more mild examples given in this book rather than cases stemming from being a partner of alcoholism， drug addiction， etc。 because （not to trauma dump） while that may be a root cause of my codependency， that is not representative of my relationship today and she does not talk enough about how codependency can continue even in a healthy and safe relationship。The author does disclose that this book was originally published in the 80s and this is evident in the persistent mentions of 12 step programs。 Although they are still prevalent today， I wish she had veered away from talking about the programs as much as she had because in the end this book felt more like an ad for Al-Anon。This was a fine introduction to the definition of codependency and a good option for someone dealing specifically with codependency due to an alcoholic partner or parent - but there may be better and more up to date research if that doesn’t specifically apply to you。 。。。more
Holley Collier
，
This book has so many great points of learning for those not affected by alcohol， but is definitely written for those that have been changed due to alcoholism in their own life or the life of a loved one。 As one that is not affected by alcohol， but finds codependency to be an issue， I still recommend this book。 It needs to be updated for relevancy， and the author switches between "God" and "higher power"， which is annoying。 This book has so many great points of learning for those not affected by alcohol， but is definitely written for those that have been changed due to alcoholism in their own life or the life of a loved one。 As one that is not affected by alcohol， but finds codependency to be an issue， I still recommend this book。 It needs to be updated for relevancy， and the author switches between "God" and "higher power"， which is annoying。 。。。more
April Scheivelhud
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I read this a while ago and I remember so many vignettes seeming familiar。 Co-dependency is a deep concept that some people may not realize they are part of， so it’s really all about self-respect and boundaries。 It’s worth a look！
Ana
，
Read it on Blinkist。
Šarūnė
，
Nebegalėjau pabaigti knygos， taip pradėjo erzinti rašymo stilius， jokių tyrimų nebuvimas， tik savo patirties dalinimasis， kuris yra labai subjektyvus。 Labai daug padrikų， nors ir gerų， minčių， nesudėtos jos taip， kad būtų lengviau atsiminti， tarsi skaitytojas pats turėtų susivokti jame。 Daug minčių apie santykius su alkoholikais， jų antromis pusėmis， su narkomanais ir tt。 Daug emocijų paaiškinimo ir kad ok jausti pyktį， kodėl kopriklausomi žmonės nepalieka savo teroristų antrų pusių taip lengvai Nebegalėjau pabaigti knygos， taip pradėjo erzinti rašymo stilius， jokių tyrimų nebuvimas， tik savo patirties dalinimasis， kuris yra labai subjektyvus。 Labai daug padrikų， nors ir gerų， minčių， nesudėtos jos taip， kad būtų lengviau atsiminti， tarsi skaitytojas pats turėtų susivokti jame。 Daug minčių apie santykius su alkoholikais， jų antromis pusėmis， su narkomanais ir tt。 Daug emocijų paaiškinimo ir kad ok jausti pyktį， kodėl kopriklausomi žmonės nepalieka savo teroristų antrų pusių taip lengvai， kas jų galvose vyksta。 。。。more
Owen Brine
，
Generally a good book for better understanding what is codependency。 There are some minor biases throughout from an AL ANON perspective; however， author does purposely try to use these as examples。 There is an updated section on trauma which is added value but could potentially have been it's own book on codependency。 To pull from Nassim Taleb， the trauma section is a bit of a simplification of the narrative。 Overall though - an insightful read。 Not quite Victor Frankl or Edith Eger level but I Generally a good book for better understanding what is codependency。 There are some minor biases throughout from an AL ANON perspective; however， author does purposely try to use these as examples。 There is an updated section on trauma which is added value but could potentially have been it's own book on codependency。 To pull from Nassim Taleb， the trauma section is a bit of a simplification of the narrative。 Overall though - an insightful read。 Not quite Victor Frankl or Edith Eger level but I can see why psychiatrists recommend this book。 。。。more
Ethan Cornett
，
Full of helpful ideas and thoughts for anyone living with codependent tendencies。 While I personally would prefer more connections to scholarship and research， Beattie worked with the material she had in her time and produced a work that has steered me towards a healthier view of self and others。
Gabby
，
Nie miałam pojęcia że książka jest o alkoholizmie ale i tak przeczytałam do końca
Alexandra Schlomer
，
4。5 stars rounded up。My main hang up is that this book is very alcoholism informed， which makes it somewhat unrelatable but not without a ton of merits。 Reading this edition of Codependent No More was like turning on the headlights when I've been driving by the light of the moon。 So many behaviors I've seen and experienced personally make so much more sense， now。 Knowing that Beatty has been in the mental health field as long as she has and having the personal experiences she does makes this boo 4。5 stars rounded up。My main hang up is that this book is very alcoholism informed， which makes it somewhat unrelatable but not without a ton of merits。 Reading this edition of Codependent No More was like turning on the headlights when I've been driving by the light of the moon。 So many behaviors I've seen and experienced personally make so much more sense， now。 Knowing that Beatty has been in the mental health field as long as she has and having the personal experiences she does makes this book hit very hard。Anyone who struggles with mental/emotional health and unhealthy family dynamics should read this book。 。。。more
Kelli
，
Five stars because it's so necessary。 Five stars because it's so necessary。 。。。more
Mark Manderson
，
Decent read。Top takeaways - Codependents focus primarily on othersSTORY - WOMAN STUDIED WANTING TO LEARN EVERYTHING SO TEACHER GAVE BOOKS AND EVERY MORNING RETURNED TO ASK HAVE YOU LEARNED EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOWN YET AND WHEN SHE SAID NO， HED BEAT HER。 This continued for months until one day he asked the same question， and when she said no， he went to raise his cane to hit her and she stopped him。 She looked up into her bewilderment。 The teacher was smiling and saying congratulations， you h Decent read。Top takeaways - Codependents focus primarily on othersSTORY - WOMAN STUDIED WANTING TO LEARN EVERYTHING SO TEACHER GAVE BOOKS AND EVERY MORNING RETURNED TO ASK HAVE YOU LEARNED EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOWN YET AND WHEN SHE SAID NO， HED BEAT HER。 This continued for months until one day he asked the same question， and when she said no， he went to raise his cane to hit her and she stopped him。 She looked up into her bewilderment。 The teacher was smiling and saying congratulations， you have graduated and now know everything you need to know 。 She responded how could that be and he answered you now learned you will never know everything and you now have stopped the pain。- A rescuer or enabler takes responsibility for other’s actions 。。。more
Aurora Pio
，
DNFI should have just closed this when the first red flag， in the preface written by the author， showed up。 "I'm not an expert， what do I know？" Seems like a good question now。 I truly don't get the hype around this book， it is not good， or helpful， or based in anything remotely evidence based。 In fact， the incessant references to 12 step programs， which are not backed up by any science whatsoever， should have tipped me off。Between "oh well， trust God！" and "have you tried not letting people tre DNFI should have just closed this when the first red flag， in the preface written by the author， showed up。 "I'm not an expert， what do I know？" Seems like a good question now。 I truly don't get the hype around this book， it is not good， or helpful， or based in anything remotely evidence based。 In fact， the incessant references to 12 step programs， which are not backed up by any science whatsoever， should have tipped me off。Between "oh well， trust God！" and "have you tried not letting people treat you like that？" I found the solutions and deeper insights to be sorely lacking， and even the asinine list of "characteristics of codependents，" which include being both overly responsible and irresponsible， means that just about anyone can fit the definition as presented here。This book will not present you with facts， help you find solutions， or make you feel better。 。。。more
Dinara
，
Recommended by my therapist。 Great book。 But i would recommend combining reading with professional therapy sessions。
Bianca Davis
，
Excellent！ So very helpful and easy read
Kate Seabrook
，
This book is for anyone who loves someone that has any kind of compulsive disorder。 It identifies behaviors within yourself that you may not even have noticed have developed due to codependency。 The book starts by creating deep understanding behind the subconscious motivation for codependency and the behavioral manifestations that come with it。 It then deep dives into the steps of detachment， a non-rescuing approach to people， not controlling the object of our attention， directness， paying atten This book is for anyone who loves someone that has any kind of compulsive disorder。 It identifies behaviors within yourself that you may not even have noticed have developed due to codependency。 The book starts by creating deep understanding behind the subconscious motivation for codependency and the behavioral manifestations that come with it。 It then deep dives into the steps of detachment， a non-rescuing approach to people， not controlling the object of our attention， directness， paying attention to ourselves， working a program （when applicable）， and becoming un-dependent。 The key is focusing on your reactions and actions because you cannot control anyone else's。 。。。more
Emily
，
Did not finish。
Jennifer Nance
，
Great Book！This is a great book！ It was so helpful！ It opened my eyes to things I had never considered before。 Healing！！
Shelby Gee
，
Codependent No More is relevant for most anyone， as we all probably have a touch of codependency。 However， this book is really geared towards those with someone in their lives dealing with substance abuse。 Thus， the examples are not relevant to everyone。 I think this book is a great starting point for a lot of people and opens the idea of how healing from codependency is possible and improves your life。 The book is filled with advice and activities to complete - like journal prompts。 But to me a Codependent No More is relevant for most anyone， as we all probably have a touch of codependency。 However， this book is really geared towards those with someone in their lives dealing with substance abuse。 Thus， the examples are not relevant to everyone。 I think this book is a great starting point for a lot of people and opens the idea of how healing from codependency is possible and improves your life。 The book is filled with advice and activities to complete - like journal prompts。 But to me a lot of this action will be difficult to complete without professional help or more guidance。 Overall， a good read for everyone and a good starting point。 。。。more
Andy
，
This is exactly what I needed in my life at the moment。 I was struggling with codependency and the anxieties that come with it and this book guided me and gave me hope to living a better life with better relationships and versions of myself。 I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone that feels they are struggling with codependency since this can provide some comfort and guidance。
Samantha Utter
，
Too heavily focused on God as a solution。 Also a little too heavily focused on people with relationships with alcoholics。 Hard to relate to。
Valerie Dominy
，
My highlighters almost ran out of ink！ So many poignant quotes throughout this year。 This is a great read if you even think you’re a people pleaser…might call ya out and help you learn and grow！
Heather Nelson
，
Transformational。 Years ago， my therapist put this book on a reading list for me。 It was the only book recommended that I did not read。 The name made me wrinkle up my nose。 “I was no victim！” I thought。 Well， what I was， am， is a codependent。 It is brutal to own that， but I also now know that I am not crazy。 There is a reason I feel what I feel。 Why I am where I am in some of my relationships。 This book has been amazing to read， and I can already see differences in how I talk…what I expect…bound Transformational。 Years ago， my therapist put this book on a reading list for me。 It was the only book recommended that I did not read。 The name made me wrinkle up my nose。 “I was no victim！” I thought。 Well， what I was， am， is a codependent。 It is brutal to own that， but I also now know that I am not crazy。 There is a reason I feel what I feel。 Why I am where I am in some of my relationships。 This book has been amazing to read， and I can already see differences in how I talk…what I expect…boundaries…etc。 Highly recommend。 We don’t have to keep letting the coping mechanisms we developed as a result of childhood trauma control our lives as adults。 Amen。 。。。more
Lori Mcmurphy
，
So， turns out 。 。 。 I'm codependent！ This book is like looking in a mirror。 It gives you lots of case studies as well as ways to help yourself。 I will probably need to listen/read this many times！ So， turns out 。 。 。 I'm codependent！ This book is like looking in a mirror。 It gives you lots of case studies as well as ways to help yourself。 I will probably need to listen/read this many times！ 。。。more
Veronika Fjord
，
Would probadly be helpful if you were dealing with alcoholism。 However as I not irritated me that pretty well all her examples related to alcoholics
Meghan Regina Ginelli
，
If you think you’re not at all codependent， you probably are， to some degree， or have been， at some point in your life。 Even if you’ve never heard the word “codependent “ before， you need this book。Melody Beattie originally wrote Codependent No More in 1986。 This is an updated and revised version， expanding upon original ideas with more research and insight。Using personal stories and examples， Beattie explains what codependency is， why people become codependent， and what to do if you find yourse If you think you’re not at all codependent， you probably are， to some degree， or have been， at some point in your life。 Even if you’ve never heard the word “codependent “ before， you need this book。Melody Beattie originally wrote Codependent No More in 1986。 This is an updated and revised version， expanding upon original ideas with more research and insight。Using personal stories and examples， Beattie explains what codependency is， why people become codependent， and what to do if you find yourself being codependent in your relationships。 This is a must read for anyone who has a loved one with any type of addiction。 There is hope， there is healing， but first comes awareness。Thanks to NetGalley， Melody Beattie， and Spiegel & Grau for the opportunity to review this important work。 。。。more
Debbie Massry
，
Listened as an audiobook。 Insightful， as to how and why people act and react in certain ways。 It is direct and clear and has suggestions to get out of the cycle。
Adrianna Fleming
，
Very insightful Definitely helped me recognize my codependent behaviors and learn to address them and begin to detach and let go of control in a healthy way。 I’m learning to take care of myself！
Katie Herron
，
DNF- interesting but very laundry list-y in terms of what type of person is codependent and what their traits are。 To a degree it felt like everyone could be codependent。 Might have been more to it had I stuck it out longer！
Lauren
，